What were you doing exactly ten years ago?

I’ll give you a hint: it was a Wednesday.

More specifically, a Wednesday night.

    For me, ten years ago, on April 10, 1996, at approximately 8:15pm, I was kneeling on a gym floor. I sat there after hearing a message that I had heard countless times before. But for some reason… it stuck. The words were the same. The truths were the same. The forgiveness and grace that was offered was the same, but in God’s sovereignty it stuck… And now, I am turning ten years old.
    Reaching the double digits in a spiritual journey seems to demand some kind of reflection. So, I am to taking a hard (and somewhat unsettling) look at myself over the past ten years. And what exactly I experienced that night and in the following weeks…

    I vividly remember walking into school the next day, and writing notes to my friends in each class to tell them about everything that had happened the night before. I ran up to my teachers (it was a private/Christian school) and told them all about it. I witnessed to friends at school and invited them to my church. I was on fire. Not just in the way I talked; beyond the talking – I was changed.
    The first thing I did when I got home ten years and one hour ago, was to tear down the posters on my walls. Throwing down idol after idol, I gave myself up completely. Metallica, Nirvana, Toad the Wet Sprocket. Pearl Jam. Nothing survived beyond my copy of Bride’s album "Scarecrow Messiah" (think if Guns ‘n Roses got saved), and DC Talk’s "Free at Last." There was nothing that I could fathom allowing to stand between me and the joy and freedom I had found.

    I am ten.

    And now I am in leadership at Twelve Oaks. Honestly, at times, I still feel as though spiritually I am just about to enter adolescence…literally turning ten years old. In a way, that makes me thankful. John Maxwell says, "If you are still impressed by what you accomplished yesterday, you aren’t truly developing that skill to a higher level." So, on one hand, that could be counted as evidence that I am working toward a higher standard, and as a result have never been impressed with my "accomplishments." But more so, it scares me to think that I have the awesome responsibility of leading a body of believers each week in worship and communion with the Almighty God. The very same God that sent fire from the heavens to consume the alter Elijah had set up. The very same God that David danced in passionate praise over. The very same God that created the entire universe… not just this planet, but millions of other planets that we will never see, and millions of stars we will never notice. The same God that created all of that and still took His time working to create you and me, and to do it just right.

    While I am typing this, God keeps laying this verse on my heart. It forces me to acknowledge whether I am leading worship and "doing church" out of a selfish ambition for personal recognition and for the success of the church as a club — or if I am passionate about seeing lives changed and broken hearts mended…

    "…You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first…" (Revelation 2:3-5 NIV)

    Here’s to rekindling old habits.