I’m doing a bit of inventory. I guess you could call it a sort of ‘Isaac-push-pin’ for this moment in in my life. Maybe it’s a reconciling of emotions. Maybe its an early midlife crisis. Either way, here is not quite everything you have been wondering about what makes me …me.

Okay, where to start? …well, I’m a twenty-five year old married guy sans children. I have two labs that I sometimes refer to as my children (Savanna & Sierra). But since they don’t even try to hold it until they get outside anymore, they’ve been demoted from being our ‘kids’ back to just dogs… or maybe frogs. Frogs just drink water all day in case someone picks them up, just like my dogs. They drink water all day just in case I decide to take a stroll around my house in sock feet.

Rachel is my wife. She is the smokin-hot joy of my life. We’ve been best friends for years. Even before we started dating. The past couple months have been the best of our entire relationship. And a couple of months ago, those months were the best. Life just gets better and better with her. Trust me: if you don’t have a wife yet, I highly recommend picking one up next time you’re out and about. They are great for parties and social events, and even better when you get to spend time together talkin, readin, sodoku’in, chillin, and lovin’… good good good.

But I think even more than my wife or my pets or my pastimes…I guess I’m writing about my emotional self. Because I’m afraid that I’m forgetting who I am. Lately it’s been the dreams I had for myself. For instance, I have the exact opposite job of what I wanted to be ‘when I grew up’. In high school, I started playing in a rock band and thought I’d be an all-star rocker. When it became apparent that it wasn’t my destiny, I made plans to become a graphic designer. Fast forward to today and I’m a number-crunching-loan-officer?

Whoa.

I’m hitting the wall. And I’m realizing that I have been treading water for a couple of years. I mostly go along with people’s opinions and ideas. I think it’s what took me from the job at the bank to the job at the mortgage company: never saying no. Granted, I’ve learned tons of useful information, made myself very marketable, expanded my horizons, gained valuable business skills, and helped dozens of people get new bank accounts, mortgages, home equities and blah blah blah… But I don’t think I really planned to go that route. I don’t think I planned a route, period. That’s the problem.

So, I think I need to take some time to see where I turned left when I should have turned right.

There you go… a glimpse into my utterly confusing and largely uninteresting mind. I love my life and I want to change it all around. I like things the way they are and I dislike things the way they are.

But mostly I just feel like I’m the only one going through this.