I prayed a prayer last week.
At the ending session of the Leadership Summit, Bill Hybels led everyone through a prayer originally written by Mother Theresa. I prayed that the Lord would show me His will, and that I would follow it. That I would
“…refuse Him nothing.”
Those are powerful words. I didn’t have any idea what I was in for…
This past half-of-a-week has been such a trying period in my life. It’s been a time of seeing my insecurities and imperfections displayed clearly to those nearby. It’s been a time of testing, successes, more testing, fewer successes, and further testing.
Robert (our pastor) warned our team before leaving the Summit that the week following an event like this one always brings out a lot of negative events – whether created by us subconsciously or as a trial from the Lord. He said that he’s preached his worst sermons the Sunday after a Leadership Summit. It’s partly our own decline from the emotional high that dampens the week so intensely, but it’s also trials that I believe come from Satan and his minions – trying to discourage us and cause us to dismiss the passion we felt during the conference.
So when I say that this week has been revealing to me, don’t get any funny ideas 
I’m not steeped in some egregious sin; God has just been shining a very bright light on my own pride and arrogance. He’s been showing me (and at times those around me) my own spiritual immaturity and highlighting the areas where I still need to grow.
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver;
I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this.
How can I let myself be defamed?
I will not yield my glory to another.”
Isaiah 48:10,11 (NIV)
Who am I giving glory to if not to God Himself?
“…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
I’m so thankful for grace. And I’m so unworthy to receive it.
