I’ve been feeling convicted by my negative attitude lately…
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.
Philippians 2:14-16
blameless.
pure.
I can’t remember a moment within the past two weeks that I’ve truly felt blameless.
My outlook on life seems polluted by a constant negativity. Maybe it’s watching the news too closely in the wake of China or Myanmar or whatever other catastrophe occurs. Maybe it’s the realization that how I spend my time and resources is rarely in line with what it could or should be. Maybe it’s the combination of several things.
Whatever the cause, I am constantly reminded of this enormous chasm between what I say I believe and how I live out what is truly in my heart… and I am totally humbled by God’s grace.
Phil Wickham’s song “Grace” brought tears to my eyes as I read through the lyrics today.
The sky is gray and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved
I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone
Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace
I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us
Come down and save me
Humbled.
I’ve been thinking a lot about pruning. Not prunes… but pruning. Cutting away. Paring down. Simplifying.
I’ve been spending the past few weeks writing out my priorities, my goals for the year, and trying to work out some form of time management. So far I’ve realized that for me, time management is a lot like budgeting:
Great in theory. Awful in practice.
But I’m getting better. I’ve consistently written my plans for the upcoming week, usually scheduling out 15 minute blocks of time from 5am until bedtime. That’s a great theory. I just don’t follow through.
So far here are the five main things I’ve consciously decided not to pursue:
- Golfing.
- Working on my non-running, eternal project motorcycle.
- Some mediums of art (painting & watercolor, not graphic design).
- Our dogs (we’re giving away one tonight).
- MySpace (soon to be deleted – long overdue).
As for the results… I’ve seen an incredible reduction in stress. I haven’t forgotten appointments in the past few months, and have gotten a lot more done.
Alternately, I’ve recognized an increase in self-induced stress from missing ‘appointments’ on my calendar (for example, “Running @ 5:00am”). I’m still learning the balance between organization and total obsessive-compulsion, but the benefits of simplicity have far outweighed the newer feelings of anxiety.
Simplify your life:
What works for you?
It’s my birthday today. No, not that one, the other one.
I do believe this calls for a celebration.
This morning I registered for the 2008 Bank of America Chicago Marathon.
This is my first ever marathon and, not surprisingly, the longest distance I’ve ever attempted. The next-closest distance I’ve trained for was the Chicago Half Marathon, which I ended up missing thanks to a sprained ankle. But I at least know I can run mileages in the double digits… but 26.2 miles? That remains to be seen.
I’ve set a few goals for myself in anticipation of the race…
Goal #1:
Finish.
In the event that I’m successful in goal #1, I’ve made Goal #2:
Finish in 3 hours, 45 minutes
Pray that my sanity returns before registration opens for something even worse.
